Showgirl

Day 1, May 15^th, 1846

"Bianca and me"

It’s my little brother’s birthday. He’s already 11 years old. My mother, my brother and I live in Tuscany, Italy in our magnificent house that has a balcony and five bedrooms. We’re celebrating and we’re having a great time.  It’s been 2 years since my father passed away…   He died from a severe concussion… It was hard for all of us, but it was harder for Lucas. They would do everything together.       The hardest part is that Lucas needs to mature more quickly because he’s now the “man of the house”.                                                                              

My best friend is Bianca Aguilar. She is in my class and she’s practically my sister. Lucas loves her. She is “part of our family.” She has brown, black puffy/ silky hair, brown eyes and beautiful dark skin.   She’s here for Lucas’s birthday.  

I’m really going to miss Bianca and my family. I need to live and be free. New York City looks like a city that I’m going to enjoy and be able to me and make myself be REAL. I’m 18.  I’m pretty much a young woman, so I need to make my decisions and go my own way…

I’ve decided to go away from this Empire.  I want to be in a free country! I wish Bianca could come with me, but I guess I’m doing this alone…

New York here I come!

Day 2, December 3^rd 1847

     



     The most awful thing has happened to me today; my mother died. She died from an unknown sickness that the doctors call “Cancer”. The doctors had told us that she had breast cancer. She died peacefully in her bed, telling my brother and I to live our lives happily and to never separate from each other since we are two now. Our mother would always do everything until now. I kept on thinking to myself what my brother and I are going to do for a living.
       At the funeral we met many of mother’s friends, but one of them told us something really important. His name was Lorenzo, and he had been mama’s friend since they were children. He had told us that if we needed to get a job and live our lives that we should go to America. He said that he can help us to get there and that we need to meet him up at the fish market. This had made both of us a little happy even though we were at the funeral. The day ended and everyone had left the funeral home except for the both of us who had stayed there since we didn’t get a chance to have our time to talk to our dead mother. Once everyone had left, we walked to the coffin and looked at our mother, who was laying there her arms crossed and eyes closed. I went to her head and whispered, “Mama, we are going to America because of Lorenzo he is helping us out sot that we can live a rich life. Why did you have to leave? We are going to miss you so much.” I started to cry due to the fact that the most important person in our life had left us, forever.

 Day 3, July 29^th, 1848

Today I decided I was going to leave Florence, my home, my country, my love, to go to America. Since Mama died, living alone with Fabian is becoming a chore for me. People are helping us live by giving us food and a little money so we can live on alone and survive just my brother and I. I might be 19 years old but people said I had the strength of the wisest women.

I would go to America and after a year or two; I would come back to Florence to bring my brother with me. I would be rich and free from the poverty in Florence. But right now, this is just a dream because I have to work to get the money to afford the trip to New York. I was working as a cleaning maid from 6 am till 9 pm every day of the week except for Sunday to get only 2 dollars a day at this rich man’s house in the heart of the city. At this rate, I could hope to be on the boat to New York in about 2 months because the ticket was 100 dollars. Of course, I was not the only person who wanted to leave the region by the port. I was sure that I wouldn’t be alone on that boat and that made me work harder than ever. I started working as a baby-sitter for my neighbors so I could make 3 extra dollars to what I already got. The only down side to this plan was that I was getting tired and fast. But my dream of a better life to come drove me onwards.                                                                            

"line to board the boat"

I was starting to have a good amount of money and I was hoping to get my ticket in about a week. I went to the public library to get as much information as possible so I would know where to go when I got to New York City. Despite my dead father, my mom had made it possible for me and my brother to go to school and learn how to read and write. After I finished the third book on the topic of the life of Americans, I knew I had chosen the right path by going to the land of dreams, America!

The ticket! I finally had the ticket! I was staring at it the whole way home to get my luggage to leave at night. The piece of paper in my hands was the beginning of my new life. A life full of joy, money, and happiness, where I would finally have a good life! As I stood in the doorway of my home, I looked around at the familiar surroundings. The low wooden table surrounded by chairs, which constituted the living room. I looked at the staircase, leading to the room of my parents and the one my brother and me shared. Soon, all this would just be memory of my Italian life. I turned around and without looking back, walked to the pier to get on the boat.

The boat was huge. The dark colored water crashed against the side of the ship, making it rock sideways, like a clock, sending the water one way and then back against the sea. The boat was made of metal that had become dark with the constant roll of salt water on its hull. The metallic color made the boat seem evil, even dangerous. I got in line and waited for my turn to go in…

I’m finally on the boat and on my way to the future! I hope the ride won’t take too long and that accidents won’t occur. People tell terrible stories of capsized boats in the middle of the sea, terrible storms drowning everybody…but this doesn’t matter to me! I will live to see America.

Day 4, October 8^th,1848



"a view of Manhattan"



     Finally!!! I arrived in New York, I’ve heard a lot about Manhattan, apparently big and just a paradise for some people. I’ve been on this ship for more than 1 and a half-month and I was getting sea sick. Almost 200 people could be on the ship. We slept in little rooms, where there is space for 4 people, but we had to sleep, 15 people in this room. I never slept in those rooms since the 1^st day because I am claustrophobic. I slept on a bench, it wasn’t really comfortable but it was better than in the room. The food wasn’t bad, it wasn’t exactly fish, meat and other expensive food that the wealthier people eat but at least we got food. They had a little variety like vegetables, corn, rice and soups and potatoes.  My days on the ship where mostly lonely but I liked it a lot because I could just listen to the waves and read a book.

I met a girl called Eva on the ship and she told me that she wanted to find her mother in New York, we became really close. The time on the Ship passed fast because I could talk with other people, And I loved to watch the ocean waves. sometimes there Were some storms but it was never dangerous. I was Looking at the ocean when suddenly I saw tall buildings Far away, I got so excited and just couldn’t wait to get Out of the ship.  The island was called Ellis Island and it was just on the other side of Manhattan. Ellis Island is a federal immigration station were the immigrants like me have to go to be controlled, if we are sick and have illegal material and food with us. They checked our medical status and our papers to. More than a half of the people had to get on a ship home because they were sick or didn’t have any papers.  When it finally ended we could board another boat and cross the river to Manhattan. I was never so happy to get somewhere. I got separated with Bianca because she went to look for her mother and I wanted to explore the city and find a job.I was standing on the sidewalk and didn"t know what to do. I think I forgot to figure that part out where should I go? I decided to ask someone, i didn"t speak english so well. I practiced a little in Italy, I had a good teacher in school.

I decided to ask a lady standing by the bus stop. She told me that i had to take the next bus if i wanted to go to the center.

Day 5, October 11^th, 1848

                       
                                                                              "streets of New York"               

     Life is the street is hard. I have no home, no job. I have a little money. The streets are dark, and scary.  I only have the streetlight that barely works. I thought New York would be a Paradise but it’s not it’s almost a living nightmare! I was wrong about New York and how I imagined it! I imagined that New York would have so much life and lights and that I would have fun, but now I’m in the streets, alone… I know no one, the only  thing I have is my music box. I love to dance. It’s the only thing that can make me happy being in this nightmare. I also win a  few dollars ($) in doing that. People enjoy my dancing, and think I have talent. I just wish my mother were here to give me advice on what to do and give me some money.  In a city of lights and wonder. I just need to find a shelter and a job and a friend…

Day 6, October 18^th, 1848

   I decided to go look for an apartment but the most of them where for sale. I finally found one in east Harlem, the neighbors where really nice to me even before I decided to rent the place. When I signed the contract and moved my few things in my neighbors invited me to diner and helped me paint the walls.

The apartment was pretty small but really nice. It was a two-room apartment with small windows, the floor was in dark wood like in my house in Florence. I installed myself.

In the morning my neighbors came over and gave me a map of New York, which would help me find the locations I needed.
 I searched for a job but I couldn’t find any. I didn"t even knew what kind of job. The next day I walked in the east village looking for a place to eat. While I walked in the streets I saw  a men. He came to me and asked me if I was still looking for a job, I had being searching for a job in weeks.  I thought New York would be different but now I see reality, it was hard to find a job. He was still waiting for me to say something, I agreed.

Day 7, October 20^th, 1848

                                                                                                     

"the typical manhattan building from the outside"

The men gave me a card with an address and he told me to go there and see where I am going to work. He said not to go in the building but just to memorize where it was and just to see what kind of people come in and out. I was a block away and I noticed men coming out very happy and sometimes with other girls. I finally I arrived to the building. Outside the building there were guards that patrolled the area to make sure that children don’t come in and peek. There were women with many costumes. Some had feathers some had masks it was amazing how they looked like. A lot of men would come in, some in suits, some in casual clothing and those who tried to sneak in were thrown out of the building and they had to go home. The building wasn’t very big and wasn’t very small, it was a 2 story building. There were many lights coming out of the building and the music was booming outside. A man came out and approached me and started to talk to me. I was shocked so as a natural reflex I pushed him away. He screamed my name and then I noticed that it was the man that gave me the card. He told me that this was where I was going to work. He told me to come the next day but not to go inside until I see him. I wanted to know why he didn't want me to go inside but that will have to stay a mystery until the next day. He also told me to bring nice clothes. Everything rests a mystery to me. Tomorrow is the first day of work! I can’t wait to know what kind of job I am going to have!

Day 8, October 25^th, 1848

                                                                                                               

"me and my group"

     Today was my first day at work, and to be honest, I’m still in shock right now. As I was walking to my new job, I started to daydream about what it would like and if I was to be the secretary of the man who still hadn’t told me his name but who was rich enough to give away his money. I was really thankful to the man but was starting to wonder why he had given me the job, out of the people and children on the streets, he had given me a job. I had already seen the place from the outside and heard the music coming out from it but hadn’t    dared to venture inside before I was due to start working. Like I said, I was hoping just to be the secretary of the bar owner because I might not have seen the inside, but seeing the people coming out, mostly men in their 30’s, coming out of the bar looking extremely happy and sometimes even drunk, stagger out of the bar with their shirts ruffled and some even torn.

So as I got into the bar, the man who had given me the apartment, who was called Mr. Kepler, explained to me what my job was all about: we (the girls at the bar) were to dance on the elevated stage that snaked around the tables of the bar and dance with customers who would pay extra from time to time to get a “private session”. 

"a showgirl"

The second he told me we were to dance around during the day in provocative dresses, sometimes being barely dressed, I new I was to be a stripper, but Mr.          Kepler never used the term “stripper”, he always referred to us as “exotic dancers”.

After my tour around the bar, I started my job. I went into the back room to get changed into my dancing costume and was now known, until the end of the day, as Angel. As I walked onto the stage, some men started whistling and screaming as the girls and I walked onto the platform. I watched the young women start their dance routine and copied them so that I could maybe get a tip. My boss had said I didn’t have to go into a private session because it was my first day at work and I must have refused about nine propositions before the end of the day. My shift was from 11:00 am till 6:00 pm. The men came early and left late so the dancers didn’t have any time to stop. I eventually got used to the rhythm and started to make up so dance moves and mixed them up with some I had learnt in Italy.

The day finally ended and I had made 15 extra dollars. I walked home and sat on my couch to think about what I was to do with the money and what I was to do with my life.

Day 9, April 20^th 1849



"homeless boys in the streets"



Today while I was going to work I saw a young boy sleeping in the street near my job. He had a piece of cardboard and wrote on it, “I am looking for my sister, I’m hungry, I have no money, and can you please help me?” It made me so sad so I went over to give him some money. When I went over I taped his head so that he can see the amount of money I was giving him. When he looked at me I froze. It seemed as if he was my brother but I wasn’t so sure. I didn’t say anything and left but then he screamed my name. I turned around and saw that he was standing. He ran and hugged me, like if we knew each other for a long time. He whispered in my ear, “It’s me; I’ve been waiting days in the streets for you…” I started to cry and so did he; he was my brother and I didn’t notice. I took him inside of the building to clean him up and give him food. After work I took him home and then we had a big talk. I asked him how he knew where I was and he told me, “I didn’t know, I just went there because I saw a lot of people come in and out so I thought that someone might be able to help me.” We continued to talk for hours and then I asked him if he wanted to go back to Italy and he wanted to. I agreed with him and so I will start to save money to go back to Italy, my home land.

Day 10, June 15^th, 1849

                                                                                               

     I’m so happy that I found my brother, we decided to go back to Italy. I don’t really like it here I think that it’s just not what I expected. My brother  was at an orphanage he complained a lot about the small amount of food and at the beginning he didn’t understand the other boys because he couldn’t yet speak English, he then decided to run away and go look for me, we both miss our mother and I’m sure she is very preocupied about us. I didn't even know my brother was here and the last time I saw him was about 2 years ago. I work 8 hours a day but it’s not enough I have to work more and now that I have my brother with me. I have to look that he gets enough food and has a bed! That’s why we had to share because I couldn’t afford a matress and the floor is way to hard. Finally it’s time I have enough money, I have to leave my friends at the bar and I’m sad, I just came back from the bar and im going to go pick up my brother and bags before. At least my brother is very happy and we’re almost ready to go. It’s a big relief for me because I have worked from 7 pm to 4am in the morning Monday to Saturday. I’m exhausted.

Day 11,June 9^th, 1850


"a steamboat in 1850s"



           Luca and I can finally come back to our hometown, Tuscany.   I have been working at the bar too long for my liking. It has been 8 months since I got to New York and I was starting to feel homesick.  I had been working overtime and doing Sunday jobs to get the necessary amount of money for the tickets, while keeping some money on the side to pay for food. Mr. Kepler let me keep the apartment for as long as I worked for him so I couldn’t stop working at the bar. I was used to the customers and even knew the names of the men who came often to the bar. But all this was coming to end. I would finally be on the boat that had brought me here and was now taking me back.

       As my brother and I waited in line, I noticed there were less people than on the line to go to America. It must be the American dream, I thought to myself.  People wanted to come to America but didn’t want to leave. My brother and me were coming back to Italy to continue our old life, before we went our separate ways after Mama died. We were coming back to start a new life. 

       As I got onto the boat, I remembered my trip to New York: the rocking of the boat, the sound of the waves crushing themselves on the metal hull of the ship. I had been scared of the sea but now I knew what was to happen so I wasn’t worried about the trip. I was more worried about what we would do once we got back in Florence. Would anybody remember us?  Did anyone sell the house? I hoped not. These thoughts were blown away as the steam horn blew and the boat departed the pier.

Day 12, September 12^th, 1856




"a view of Florence in the 1850s"

 

This day was one of the best in my life. I was in Italy. It felt so good going back to my country, my home. Nothing had changed, the streets looked the same, I could smell the traditional Italian cuisine and the cold cigarettes.  I could hear the sound of the river streaming in my ear. The newsagents were shouting to sell their newspaper. Just as I remembered Italy. The first thing I did when I got back to Florence was to go back to my parents’ house. It reminds me so much of them and of my childhood.  I had to start a new life now.

(6 years later)

I am now married with an Italian businessman. I met him six months after coming back to Florence, my husband speaks fluent English and Italian.  Sylvio had a very good education unlike me. He is older than me by two years. His hair is very dark so his blue eyes stand out. When I met him he was not fluent in English and he had a charming Italian accent. He works a lot so I have to take care of our three kids at home. I don’t dance as a job anymore but I still dance a lot as a hobby.  Having three kids is very stressful so when I dance I feel relieved.

My oldest children are twins, two boys of five. They just started school. The tallest one is called Massimiliano and he is not very good at paying attention at school. The other one, Giulio, loves learning but not the alphabet and the time… They both have their father’s eyes but they have my skin color. My boys are amazing: they remind me a lot of my brother. I also have a little girl; she’s very pretty and has a lot of ambition. She loves dancing and I hope this passion will stay in her heart until the end. She is only three but she is very talented. From now on I decided to forget the past and turn the page.